TV is pissing me off. I know there is war in the world, famine, genocide. That pisses me off too. But I feel like whining about the quality of TV now a days. I hope I don’t come across as some sort of nostalgic nut who thinks TV isn’t as good as it used to be. I don’t want to do that. I have Direct TV. Lemme tell you… anyone who bitches about there being nothing on TV must not have as many channels as I do. I’m still aggravated at the ending of the Sopranos. I have even let myself think of it as some stroke of sheer genius. But it does not change the fact that even as someone who appreciates writing but isn’t very good at it… I know coming up with ANY ending that would have been any good would have been difficult. Maybe impossible. So what do you do when something is impossible? Nothing.
Like how I gave you the one ending you knew could come but you just knew I wouldn’t be so lame as to put out? Prolly not.
Anyway. The days of great season ending cliffhangers that make you mad you have to watch reruns all summer is fading. And the spin-off is all but dead. I’m not that old but you might be younger than me… Imma list a list of shows that were either spin-offs or had spin-offs… it is by no means a complete list… just important to note that none of these are new shows… And feel free to let me know others I miss.
MASH, Trapper John MD, That’s My Mama, What’s Happenin, The Archie Bunker Show, The Jeffersons, Sanford And Son, Chico and The Man, Maude, The Golden Girls, The Cosby Show, Different World, Good times, The Honeymooners, CSI (all 99 of them), The Tonight Show, Knots Landing, The Simpsons… You get the point. There is a far more complete list over at http://www.answers.com/topic/list-of-television-spin-offs have a peek. You may be shocked to learn that some show you love is a spin off of a show you hate.
I bring up spin-offs because I am going to build a tree and go out on a limb and say something that embarrass me if I were a professional and it didn’t come true, however I’m an amateur and it suits me. I think FOX is about to break out the sequel machine. Here is why I think they are… Because they cant give new shows the time it takes for them to take off before they pull the plug. Maybe its shitty marketing. Maybe its poor placement in time slots. Who knows? But they pull the plug on shows faster than Dr. Kevorkian used to. I might be the only person who saw “What’s Allen Watching” a show produced by Eddie Murphy for FOX that bit the dust after one episode… They killed that new show “Drive” after two shows. From what I read it was decent. Futurama, Family Guy, Justice, Vanished, The Wedding Bells, Fastlane, Standoff Firefly, Herman’s Head, Wanda At Large, Arrested Development, and Greg the Bunny… the list is long. They HAD to bring back Family Guy and Futurama is coming back except it will be on comedy central.
They killed that new show “Drive” after two shows. From what I read it was decent. And you know what they ran in its stead? “House” reruns. I love House. But they had the damn show on three times a week. NOT TO MENTION the USA network was running five or six hours of house on Friday nights. Fuck.
You can’t run American Idol any more than they ran it. They stretched it out as much as they could by adding half ass performances and less than stellar performers. I mean, did you see the episode with Gwen Stephani? Holy shit! I remember her from “I’m just a girl” when she was edgy and over the top. That was ten years ago. The woman they had up there was mellow and boring. Same thing goes for JLo. I liked that she performed a song in Spanish. I think the Latino population should do more to call attention to their economic power in our country. Keep the ‘go home’ brigade from thinking that every Latino in this country is underground and afraid to come out in the open. Come on my Latino amigos, Say it loud! “I’m Latin and I’m proud!” (My non Latin friends in NYC, south FLA, Texas, Chicago and LA are like… ‘Don’t they do that enough already?’
Anyway… JLo. She too was sorta lifeless and lacked that fire that she had once upon a time. And if the producers were hoping for some “Latin Fire” that bullshit Sanjayia did was about as close as they got that night. I read somewhere the ratings were down this past season. Mighta been the ratio to fat Black girls to everyone else. Might be that the show is getting old and that as far as I can see the best talent gets eliminated somewhere between 12 and 3. Usually the top too aren’t the best too. That’s just my opinion. (Sound scan seems to support that too….)
I’m being sidetracked… Someone somewhere at FOX decided that reruns of House were better than a David Kelly produced show. They killed “The Wedding Belles” In favor of last week’s fox. Lemme ask a rhetorical question… Between Tivo, Recordable DVDs, VCRs and a willingness to buy the DVDs even though you taped or Tivoed the show… why do they need to run the same episode twice in one week?
So I’m watching the final episode of House again. It’s Friday night but hey, I’m a married man with an eleven year old stepson. That means my ho’n days are done and my days of getting any are almost 7 years away. So I watch a lotta TV and take a lot of cold showers. *sigh*
Anyway. So I’m watching House again and I reiterate my belief that FOX is so hard up for shows they KNOW will succeed that we are CERTAIN to see at least one, maybe two House spin-offs. Here is my theory;
“House” gets three new residents. Maybe a gay Asian dood who is in love with House. A ‘ghetto’ white guy or gal… Someone to absorb the little bit of hip hop knowledge House has. And some rich kid for who medicine (and life) has always come easy// so House can have someone to teach a lesson or two to. If that’s too much to ask… Cast Rosario Dawson, Joey Lawrence (he could use the work) and that “Milf” kid from American Pie. He played Harold in “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” Hey. For that matter that cat would do too.
They could play up the sexual tension between House and Cutty… maybe she could ask him to father her baby.. His ex wife could always come back. None of that really matters. The residents are like Menudo or New Kids on the Block. They are interchangeable. House will still be damn good. Oh but wait.. My unfounded suspicions know no boundaries.
Last year’s crew either all wind up at the same hospital or the two love birds get a show and Epps character gets a show. Cutty already offered him his own practice. He worked for House for three years so finding a job won’t be hard. He could have his own show with his own residents and he could always be a step away from genius because he can’t handle them dying on him. And in another show, the other two can try balancing career and relationship at the same time. All the standard issues with working with and living with the same person. This shit writes it’s self. Even get an occasion case they need to go get House for. Fantastic!
I know they are having issues over at FOX since they only seem to have confidence in four shows (House, Idol, 24 and Prison Break) and the reality craze is heavy in their hand as their trump card. Kinda like if you playing spades and you have the Jack and the Queen of Spades. The better you are the more likely you are to count those as books. If you aren’t so good those are possible to you. And if you suck then you don’t count on those cards at all. Well FOX should know better. They aren’t the CW WB whatever the hell they go by now. They should look at that Jack of Spades and that Queen of Spades and know they can count on those two books… even if they have to cut Hearts to do it! (Pardon my cards references) However they don’t seem to have much of an idea how to play their cards. And where the hell is “’Til Death”? FOX reality shows work for a while but television viewers over age 18 watch TV too.
Lately TV has been aimed solely at kids. You can see it in how they film shows. It’s like it’s made for someone with attention deficit disorder. Everything is flashy and fast. If people aren’t touching themselves with excitement about it then the show gets canceled. There is a way to feed the attention lacking… watch an episode of CSI… see… it is possible to cater to someone with a short attention span AND tell a story at the same time. I like shows like Hill Street Blues, LA Law, The West Wing. Those shows had drama. They had controversial topics that didn’t always meet with a happy end… Boston Legal is another one. If you follow my logic and can envision what I’m saying then I ask you to consider if a show like the Sopranos came on FOX (wouldn’t that be nice), would they give the show the time it takes to build the characters up and start giving you storylines? Even if they toned down the language and the violence, it would be a great show. But would they cancel it on FOX?
