Radical Muslims Everywhere Decry, “Death To Windows!”

This just in. Radical Muslims everywhere can be seen in the streets chanting, “Death To Windows!” Our attempts to reach Microsoft founder and CEO Bill Gates have gone unanswered. A spokesperson was heard asking, “What the fuck is this?”

Rumors abound that these militants want to see Windows in all it’s forms destroyed. Despite the fact that we have no source to confirm it, we are reporting that allegidly, this man is behind the recent uproar.

Pengu Ibn Al Penguin. Wanted by everyone who knows that open source is the key to growing the future of software development. Interpol has no information about him and they suggest that their windows based systems keep them from knowing.With the steady stream of viri and windows related crashes, Mr. Penguin hopes to rid the world of the infidel Windows.

EDITOR’S NOTE:

The writer is the only muslim who hates Windows. He is not a radical. Full disclosure, he once fancied himself a Windows Admin. He has left what he calls “the dark side” for Ubuntu and is hoping to convince the world that windows is evil. Please make a note of this.

Take A Picture

“Remember it. Write it down. Take a picture. I don’t give a fuck!” -Chris Tucker in “Friday”

Look. I’m on record as saying I hate pictures. I lost a good friend because I refused to take a picture. For years I quoted what I attributed to the Hopi tribe, a quote about pictures. “If you take a picture you take a piece of the soul.” I always followed that statement up by saying that I didn’t necessarily believe that but what if its true?

That said, I think a picture is a special thing that may or may not have a piece of who you are in it. In my opinion, then, there are good pictures and bad pictures. Some people are always willing to get into a photo op. There are some pictures you shouldn’t take. If you Google Chicago Ghetto Prom Pictures I think you will find a few pictures of my cousin ‘n’em, in some shots that they should never have taken. When I see those pics the only thing I can think is…. they posed for that? Questionable decision. But hey. Other than being funny for people who don’t know and being a source of shame for those of us who do, the multiple underage girls backshot in matching Gucci homemade dresses doesn’t hurt anyone. The big girl in the middle might make someone cringe but no one panics. (She doesn’t know that thongs are not for everyone…) Its just a dumb ass picture. Terrible judgement. Not harmful. Not Criminal.

However, when the government wastes fuel flying a jumbo jet and two fighter jets in and around the New York New Jersey area given all the things those people have had to deal with, its beyond reckless. It might just be criminal. It is certainly more than just bad judgement. The media outlets I read and watch claimed people poured out of their apartments and offices fearing the worse. And for what? So the white house could get a good picture of the presidential jet? Anybody bother explaining to these muthafuckers what Photoshop is?

Dumb ass.

You cant sell fiscal responsibility when you waste money scaring the shit out of people. If you had a decent IT department you could have saved money.  So how do we deal with this and other poor judgement issues that our new president finds himself in? How do we approach the white house if and when they make mistakes?

We should not be any harder on Obama  or any easier on him than we would be with any one else. Hold this white house to the same standard anyone else (white) would be held to. This photo op was a dumb ass move and someone should loose their job over it. I wouldn’t be mad if someone was charged with conspiracy to incite a riot. But if they wont seek charges against people who tortured because their bosses told them to, then this won’t ever get to that point. How could it?

Pro Kids

Details are just coming into the Curse The Darkness  news desk. A young man, a high school junior, is going to drop out of high school and go play pro basketball overseas before returning to the states to enter the NBA draft. The NBA, as you may know, no longer allows a player to enter the league directly from high school. This may have been a move aimed at extending the careers of older players, however it was probably some sort of motion to help college basketball which was faced with a slow and steady trend towards mediocrity because the top talent went pro and the second tier talent vanished into overseas obscurity.

There has been a bit of what you might call an uproar over this young man’s choice to go get paid and skip the rest of his high school play for free career. The obvious reason why this might concern someone who knows the young man would be concern for his education. Oddly enough, this is a speedbump, simply a point to be made for makings sake type pause before the real reasons get revealed.

What will this do to college basketball? How many blue chip McDonald’s all American types will fore go their education *cough cough* and continue to level the college basketball playing field? I mean if the college basketball powerhouses no longer get the top high school ballers… how many of these ‘ledgendary’ coaches will be shown to be frauds? How will the so call experts be expected to expertly predict the ACC powerhouse vs. the CIAA ream? Top high school talent playing pro ball… pro ball we cant even see without upgrading to some international sports package on our dish that we don’t wanna watch!? Does that mean we will start watching other sports like soccer? Its cats and dogs living together! These kids cant be allowed to go off and make more money than their classmates will make in their lives in a few years! What if they get over there and like it better? What if the other places on earth become better than the USA in basketball? How will we handle it?

Look. It may be obvious but I don’t have a problem with the kid getting paid. I think its fine. If people in other sports can do it why cant basketball playersI would take it a step further. If I had access to these top blue chip high schoolers I would tell them to all go. Go get that money before you get hurt. Make as much as they will pay you and if you want to, come back to the states and join the NBA. I would encourage the high school football players to go play football in the CFL. Why not?

I’d tell these kids… look… you get paid anyway. This way its not a criminal thing. No one is going to suggest that you shouldn’t take money you and your family needs so you can make Big U. a basketball powerhouse. Especially since we all know you are one and done anyway. We all know many of these kids aren’t the least bit interested in a college degree. Why do we still put such an emphasis on a high school diploma? Is it because we believe its worth a whole lot? Or because we want these kids to wear our favorite team’s uniforms?

Jill Scott… Talented. Sexy. Stupid.

Jill Scott suffers from what I like to call ‘The Madonna Complex’ where by one day she may look like a movie star and then the next day she may look like shit on a shingle. I consider myself a fan of Ms. Scott who is currently on the cover of Jet Magazine. She was on the cover a little while back looking like the loveliest big beautiful woman you ever did see. Here she is looking tasty!

I think her voice is magnificent. I think her songs are well written and I feel the soulfulness she has. I remember thinking it must have been hard for her to give up the man she loved for the music she loved. I thought that made her music even stronger. Better even. I thought this smart sexy (sometimes) woman could be an example to young women everywhere. Be comfortable with who you are and do the smart things in life and love and happiness will be the wind at your back no matter what you do.

Until I read this here recent article in Jet and was shocked to find out she is pregnant and getting married soon. I wondered if that meant she had grown, changed, and reevaluated the whole marriage thing. I figured she met new love and considering what I seem to recall she went through before… had chosen to start anew.

BUT according to Ms. Scott she was under the impression that she could NOT get pregnant. OK… But that means she was having unprotected sex. A baby is NOT the only, nor the main, worry any intelligent person should have about having unprotected sex. HIV aint got shit to do with getting pregnant. Even the sexually transmitted diseases that they can treat aint shit to play with.

I’m surprised but I shouldn’t be. The question is less about why she didn’t think about her health and more about why I assumed her talent would translate to thinking about such things? Or another way to ask that may be, ‘can you be a terrific talent and not have some self destructive or dangerous tendencies?

“Catch A Bad One” by Del The Funky Homosapien

Good morning boys and girls. Today’s lesson in Hip Hop Lyrics 351 takes us back to the early 90s. Our subject for today is a Mr. Del tha Funky Homosapien. “Catch A Bad One” is from the “No Need For Alarm” album.

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/del-tha-funky-homosapien-catch-a-bad-one/2409475355

The lyrics, which are almost correct can be found at:

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/del_the_funky_homosapien/catch_a_bad_one.html

I was unable to find the actual video as it appears the corporate overlords have removed it from everywhere I looked.  “Catch A Bad One” is one of two songs I play whenever I setup a new stereo. The other song is Richard Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries”

I Just Overheard

I just overheard a mother or grandmother telling a teenage girl some of that ole fairytale princess bullshit I hate so much. I didnt want to hear it and once I did I wish I could unhear it but I couldnt. The older woman told the girl that she needed to keep herself up because one day a man would see her and have to have her. He would love her and provide for her and she would have children of her own.

Bullshit.

Look. This would be borderline dangerous if the girl was 5 years old but she was more like 15 years old. Grandma should have been telling that girl to take care of herself so she can live a healthy life. She should have been explaining to her that shallow women attract shallow men. She should have explained to her that IF you have expectations of a partner you should know they will have expectations of you.

It has been my experience that what the older woman assumes is that mearly by looking good some man of worth would be overwhelmed by the girl’s beauty. That her beauty would only attract the sort of man she wants and that he will never really press her for anything besides how she looks. I hurried up and ran away as fast as I could.

Jordan & Pippen vs. Kobe & Lebron

WTF!?

The other day during a game Mark Jackson and Van Gundy posed the question to themselves about who would have won a two on two game between Jordan & Pippen vs. Kobe & Lebron. They both picked Kobe & Lebron.

WTF?

My assumption is that they meant Jordan & Pippen at the height of their careers vs. the younger pair now. If they meant Jordan as he is now and Pippen as he is now then okay. That makes sense. Two old cats against two of the best young cats in the game today wouldnt be close. These two however, were talking about Jordan and Pippen at their best vs Kobe & Lebron at their current.Their logic, which I admit I couldnt even hear after they started to explain themselves, did not give any weight to the idea that if you assume their skill sets were close… The Bulls greats were teammates and therefore would have played together long enough to know how to play with one another. You cant throw two players who are very good together and expect they can compliment one another’s game. See the USA Basketball, the shitty years….

I can only conspiracy theorize that this is some thinly veiled attempt to hype up this year’s MVP debate by throwing in two of the 50 all time greats. I can only hope they were instructed to make such an outlandish claim in order to spark more  something in the NBA playoffs. It can be said that the league has done all they can to prevent the critics from saying the East is a JV conference in relation to the West. The Western Conference # 9 team is better than the East #4 through 8 and with a hurting Kevin Garnett and an inconsistent Magic team, the Eastern Conference needs to know such claims cannot be far off.

If they did this to drive home a point or bury a story they didnt want out, I think this is on par with planting evidence on a guilty man. It wasnt nessisary and all it really serves to do is bring those involved into question.

Bromance Warning

Hubie Brown has a man crush on Lebron James. Not that I think a man crush is ever permissable but I am accepting of some man man love when a man saved your life or saved your ass. You can and should love that guy. If the two of you have been through some shit together then thats ok too.

But under no circumstances should you be drooling when you describe him. Your excitement about him shouldnt sound like you are teetering on the verge of whipping it out and rubbing one out.If you listen to Hubie Brown talk about Lebron James you would think he was describing the Mona Lisa.

Listen to Hubie Brown. He stammers over himself when he describes James. Now of course his game is nutty good but even when Cleavland isnt playing Hubie cant seem to go more than two commercial breaks without mentioning James no matter who is playing. And his panting over James…. you can almost see him fanning himself… he isnt talking about James’ game. He is talking about his BODY. Yup. He is talking about how James is built with a passion that can only be described as questionable at best. As you watch the playoff this year listen for it.

The NBA Playoffs Are Here!

The NBA playoffs are here. I am certainly excited about that. In recent years I have only followed the sport during the regular seanon via ESPN and Fox Sports. I might catch a game from time to time if there is no rerun of Boston Legal or Family Guy on.

Come playoff time I’m all about the games. I dont care who is playing! I was on that bandwagon for a while that said that it didnt matter what happened in the East because the best games were being played in the West and that the champs would come from the West. But not anymore.

Truth be told, once the playoffs start, it is always worth watching anyway. A few years back it was Shaq and Wade. Last year the Celtics and Hawks series was like watching those old Bulls Pistons games back before Jordan broke through and put Detroit on the who gives a shit list for a decade. I loved it. The games made heroes and villains every year. Ask any bulls fan from the 90s about John Starks bitch ass. We HATED that man. He sucked all year and waited… WAITED to start hitting threes when he played us. The NBA playoff are when the sport means something. People play hurt and having a big game means something as opposed to lighting the sorry Knicks up for a half a hundie in a game that doesnt matter. I dont have a horse in this race but I root for the guys who went to the same school I went to and I root for the people who step up and ball like they only wish they could.

Baltimore Club Music

Give it a listen. In particular a song called, “This Pussy Will Drive You Crazy”. Thats it. Those are the lyrics. Its not Beethoven’s fifth by any means but its an idea in and of it’s self. Reminds me of Harlem Nights when Della Reese says, “I got a girl whose pussy is so good if you threw it in the air it would turn into sunshine!” That look on Redd Foxx face… Thats how I feel when I hear this song. At the same time one of the cats in the back, I think it was Robin Harris, says, “I dont even want no pussy like that!”

I feel that way too.