The microwave is one of the most fantastic and horrible inventions in the last 150 years. I am certainly happy with how nice it is that I can heat up leftovers without having to break out a pot or pan and then clean it once done. And in the summertime I promise you I am thankful for the microwave saving me from having to heat the entire house. It used to be, that once summer came, I would make cold cut sandwiches and that would be good enough. But there is too much damn salt in cold cuts. I have reduced my cold cut and processed meat consumption by 95%. Every couple of weeks I will ear a roast beef or turkey sandwich but that used to be my staple four years ago.
Anyway. the virtues of the microwave are easy to document but it’s horrible effects are not so clear. That is until now! How your microwave is making your lazy ass kids even lazier… tune in at 11 for this and more scary stories. It could be killing you. Its in your home. And it maybe in your kitchen right now… find out when Dul Gui gives you your doppler 33,000 weather report…
Once I got sick I got a little pseudo healthy. I swore of sluts and nights out clubbing… wait. That was what my now wife made me do… I put up a good fight. I resisted but I forgot I explained to her how the guns work. I also started eating better. A little. It happened in stages. I will admit that. First, my then girlfriend now wife made me promise to stop drinking the nectar of life that we all know as Mountain Dew. (If you reading this Dewy baby, I miss you!) And I had a harder time than I should have doing that. ANYWAY….
I knew then that I needed to start cooking at home. Stop eating fast food. And use the microwave less. Well I always loved cooking. And eating fast food is about how cheap and how convenient it is…. But the microwave has become a way of life. I am not sure my 13 year old ever heated anything up that didn’t require a microwave until about two or three years ago. When I talk to him about how long it takes to cook, he asks me howcome I dont use the microwave? This from a kid who cooks everything on the stove top with the eye on high and cooks everything in the oven on the highest setting. Needless to say he burns everything he cooks. But he eats it anyway so….. maybe that’s OK by him and maybe he doesn’t recognize the difference between what I cook and what he cooks. Maybe he does. Maybe he will eat anything. If thats the case then it isnt about slow cooking or the process. It’s about how much and how fast you can get it. Enter the microwave. I tried to explain you can’t cook everything in the microwave but I guess I am out of touch. They have these individual cakes that you bake in the microwave. I’ll be damned! The boy claims there is a microwave infomercial where they claim you can even make crispy toast in the damn thing! It is hard enough trying to get them to appriecate and understand that there are many positive traditions that go with cooking…. without having a wonder box that does it all.
Wow.
